March 12th, 2026

I am in the smack middle of midterms and the middle of data analysis for my practicum research. Yesterday I completed one of my midterm exams and I think it went much better than I was fearing, but man did it tire my brain. After the exam I went to the dollar store and bought a few basics and a new metalic pen for my journalling. I also found childrens sticker activity books and there were two ninjago ones... I did buy them. I felt so silly and a bit embarassed buying those at my big age. I plan on using the graphics and sticker from the books for my journal! I also did the puzzles in the books but they were very easy beacuse its intended for small children lol.

I need to be more unapologetic about my interests, especially those which are more childish, but I also always feel like I have to prove myself, that I AM an adult and mature. I feel like this is partically due to my age, because being in your early twenties is such a weird stage of life, like I am definitly an adult now but I'm new at this and I'm stumbling. I think being ADHD also contributes to some extent too since I feel like I have had to work much harder to achieve the same things my peers are doing, or at least i've had to spend more energy getting my brain to function in a way that works with me, and when I struggle I feel I need to compensate for these struggles too. Im having to prove I'm worthy to be responsible and that Im actually intelligent and not stupid. And similarly I think some of my ADHD and possible autism, but we're not going to talk about that, traits have cultural associations with more immature and childish state. All of this fear contributes to me having a complex where i'm desprit to come off as serious and competent, but I'm not like that all the time! I have "cringe" interests and ones that are a little more childish! And it's okay! Adulthood is not a monolithic experience and you can be a mature, intelligent, responsible adult while liking cartoons and video games that aren't rated M. Having more childish intrests doesnt automatically make you "stunted" or a "manchild" or anything, its how you approach life, how you treat people, or how you engage with maturity.